alt.babylon5.uk Website

Part 1

TEASER

C. Noble: Last Time on alt.babylon5.uk...

::Cut To Security::

Simon Jones: I'm going out for a walk - I may be a while...

Mr Zathras 50%: And Now the conclusion...

ALT.BABYLON.UK 5 START UP SEQUENCE

Simon: It was begining of a new age in mankind's history books, the third one. Fourteen years after the Earth-Minbari war. alt.babylon.uk had failed - we were in the middle of one of the most fierce wars that was tearing the universe to shreads - and they still came. The Babylon Project gave way to a new hope, the hope that the number of test threads would be dramatically reduced. The year: 2272, the name of the place is alt.babylon5.uk.

::Cue Music...::

1. Council Chambers
The League of Worlds are sitting in their normal seats.

JACQUI HOLDING
You made YOUR promise when you joined the league, that YOU would commit your forces to the defence of this station - why then do you NOT send even ONE ship to protect us now?

LIZ BATTY
We NEED your forces to help protect us, especially since both Captain Noble and Mr. Jones have gone missing.

COOL VREE GUY
::He\she holds up a card, it shows a ship::

LIZ BATTY
If we could ONLY have one or two ships we'd be SAFE for the time being. I don't mind telling you that within 42 hours a Shadow fleet will be arriving here, we can't stop them without at least double the number of ships. The Minbari have already agreed to pull ALL their fighters from the line, Ambassador Holding herself has spoken with one of the main factions in the Warrior Caste. Are you willing to risk YOUR demise?
I _KNOW_ that some of you don't have power, but it is important that you seize this oppurtunity to STAY alive. Once they kill us they'll kill EVERY SINGLE one of your races, they'll be no one to oppose them. I refer back to a passage written by a religious teacher in Germany during the 1940s 'They came for the Jews, but I wasn't a Jew so I didn't complain. They came for the socialists, but I wasn't a socialist so I didn't complain. They came for the communists, but I wasn't a communist, so I didn't complain. Then they came for me, and there was no one left to complain'. I can't remember the exact words but that IS the gist of it...

PHIL JEFFERSON
The Narn Regime offer you our entire fleet, at least what's left of it after our attack on Z'Ha'Dum.

LIZ BATTY
Thank you Ambassador.

KOSH 2
I can only offer the ships that are within 2 jumps of here...

STEEVIE
The Centauri Republic commits no ships.

::lots of murmers heard from the league...::

LIZ BATTY
NO ships???

STEEVIE
NO ships!!!

::CUT TO:::

2. Central Command
We hear bleeps and the suchlike from the stations and Security Guard 1 suddenly speaks to Batty.

GUARD #001.
Sir - Mr.... BRACK - he's requesting to speak with you...

BATTY
Where is he?

GUARD #001.
His ship has just docked.

BATTY
Tell him I'll speak with him in the Council Chambers.

GUARD #001.
He has just said that it is URGENT. It is of great importance to the war...

::CUT TO:::

3. Council Chambers
Brack and Batty are standing in the chambers.

BRACK
Greetings. I am here on business for a few days and so I assume that my normal quarters in the brig are available to which I have grown so attached!

BATTY
Oh - they are now. What was it?

BRACK
As you know after the disappearance of Mr. Jones and Captain Callum, we've been stuck in the mudd or so to speak...

BATTY
Get to the point.

BRACK
Well, the Psi Corps wish to send someone to... assist you in any way possible.

BATTY
They sent you?

BRACK
No - they sent Mr. MarkWCats but due to budget cuts I'm stuck in this episode as well.

BATTY
::Laughs::
We don't often see a sense of humour in Psi Cops...

BRACK
Reports of our depression are - vastly exagerated...

BATTY
::Laughs again::
Well, how can I help?

BRACK
By telling me how I can help - I don't like this situation any more than you do Miss Batty. I was planning to go on a picnic lunch on Sierria Prime with my nine year old daughter. Would it interest you to know Miss Batty that -

::She interupts::

BATTY
NO!!!

::CUT TO:::

4. CGI - Jumpgate
A fleet of Narn ships enter as we hear the jumpgate music.

5. Command Central

BATTY
Hours until the Shadows arrive?

GUARD #002
Two.

BATTY
Begin battle drills.

::SCARY AND WIERD MUSIC::

AD BREAK.

"Are YOU finding it difficult to get those spoo-stains out of YOUR carpet? Well if so buy the brand new spoo-gone, a product made by the best Centauri scientists - SPOO-GONE, the ONLY thing to get rid of the only TASTY blue meat..."

"Tired of fighting civil wars and intergalactic battles - then drink Oasis - Oasis is a blend of natural fruit juices tht gets you back to your old self

SINCLAIR: Get the HELL off my station..."

"Tired of your children being fed up at nights and too hyper-active for them to sleep? Well if so we have the answer. We have selected some of the most ENJOYABLE Minbari folkstories (religious caste of course) and compiled them in an easy to read edition. Enjoy such classics as the Minbari Warrior Caste member who played with achainsaw and chopped his head off, and the story of the Centauri who played to close to the cliff. Available by mail order only from Mega Dodo Publications, Alpha Centauri"

- FIN -

End of Part One.

In Part Two:-

We begin to find parts of the puzzle of WHATEVER HAPPENED TO MR. JONES.
We learn the CORRECT way to eat cheesy spoo.
We learn the REAL structure of the Minbari government.
And a startling revelation is made as to why Callum Noble hasn't appeared yet.

Stay tuned for the first appearances of several recurring characters. ONLY IN:-
Whatever Happened To Mister Jones.

BORING STUFF WHICH YOU SHOULD READ:

Please comment on this, I would like to know what you think. I am writing this late night and this is my first attempt at a Babylon 5 story-like thing. Mr. Jones will actually be mentioned soon.