Report No. 4
Here you are, as promised, one dish of Spoo.:
Hm, number four, and Mr. Mumble hasn't arrived back to nick his,
er, my, er the computer.
I discovered that Doom is installed on the computer, which
surprised me, as this computer apparently uses a RISC CPU, and I
didn't know there was a version of Doom for that. Still, one
lives, one learns.
newsgroup: misc.lost.and.found
Lost in Mars region - large black spidery craft. Reward offered
to finders.
Please reply care of anna@icarus.zahadum.com
--
"Time apart can do a marriage good"
anna@icarus.zahadum.com
Newsgroup: alt.jobfinder
Wanted: Rouge telepaths to entertain after a fashion of Julian
Clary. Willingness to have, er, special makeup in cerebral cortex
needed. Skill at flying large, highly advanced, fighter craft
also a bonus. Those who cannot spend several months in cryo and
still look good rising from cryo tubes on Earth Destroyers need
not apply.
Reply to: biological.entity.resources@admin.zahadum.com
--
The Za'Ha'Dum Biological Entity Resources Department -
seeing to the employment needs of all things black spidery and
invisible most of the time.
Internal Ranger Network:
Has anybody seen Marcus around lately? I haven't noticed him for
a while, and he doesn't seem to be posting to
alt.fan.teletubbies.dipsy any more. I mean, it's not like he
could have died or anything, he was safe on Babylon 5 while the
big smah up over Earth way was going on.
--
fred@rangers.com
Newsgroup: alt.buy.and.sell
FOR SALE:: Large black company cars for sale, low light-yearage,
many modern features, inc. hyperspace wibbling, CD player, sun
roof and slicer beam (some mildly damaged and in need of repair)
Runs on all variants of teep, and has a very high LYTA[1] ratio.
Company moving premises, quick sale a preference.
NOTE:: previous sales notices referring to Mr. Morden should not
beanswered, as he is temporarily incapacitated[2].
--
Direct Undamaged Craft Transfer - Teep Allocation, Psi-corp Earth
duct-tape@interlog.com
Newsgroup: alt.services
MEN - ARE YOU BALD?
No?
Don't you wish you were?
No more combs! No more washing of hair!
A quick squirt of Windolene, and you're done!
Plus, blind enemies with your reflective head!
But, you may ask, how do I become bald?SIMPLE!
Just contact getbaldnow@bab5.com
--
Michael Garibaldi, mikey@bab5.com
My opinions are not those of the Earth Alliance or the Babylon 5
command staff, as I am no longer with them. Please reply, I need
money.
Newsgroup: alt.clarke.die.die.die
I suppose there isn't any point in keeping
this newsgroup, is there lads?
--
joesoap@idioticname.com
Oh, and I also received an e-mail on this computer yesterday,
but I must say it was very offensive.
to: mdunne@iol.ie
from: valen@minbarihq.gov
subject: Moron! Stop messing about!
Look you, we didn't drop the computer off at your hosue so you
could mess about on Usenet the whole time, and download pictures
of politicians[3], and for goodness sake stop trying to e-mail
them as well. Earthforce takes a dim view of people who send
suggestions like that to people like that[4], and while they
can't do anything to you, you ARE making a right mess of
causality. Just leave the computer there as a navigational
beacon, and please stop using it's temporalcapabilities the way
you are, you bloody fool.
--
I followed Michael Garibaldi's Get Bald Now scheme,
and lost all my hair in next to no time! I'm now
bald, and loving it.
Valen@minbarihq.com,
homepage: http://valen.devil.co.mb/teletubbie.html
As you can guess, I did *not* take kindly to that.
So I in my reply e-mail I threatened to tell Moyra, and that
she'd duct tape him to a wall, and then get to work with her
knife (the BIG knife). Er, you don't mind, do you Moyra? Last
thing I want to do is annoy you.
Now: a vote. Should there be a part five? Or shall I do a Jeremy,
and stop posting until I get more replies? Hmm...[5]
[1] LYTA stands for Light Year To Alien-teep.
[2] Which is a, Pune or play on words
[3] I genuinely have NO idea whatsoever at all what he's talking
about here.
[4] Obviously a complete lunatic, haha, raving, doncha know...
Nothing here that's accurate, at all.
[5] This is blatantly asking for people to reply saying how
wonderful they think my sense of humour is. [6]
[6] I have nothing against the occasional lie. :-)