I know what the Ambassador is thinking tonight

To be sung to the tune of "I Wonder What The King Is Doing Tonight" from 'Camelot'. A Musical!

I know what the people are thinking tonight as home, past the shadows they wander everyone smirking in secret delight as the stare at the station and ponder Whenever the wind blows this way You can almost hear everyone say

I wonder what the Ambassador is doing tonight, What merriment is the Ambassador pursuing tonight, The candles made of courts, they’ve never burned so bright, I wonder what the Ambassador is up to, tonight,

How goes the final hour as his sees his bride bow her being legally and regally prepared but I’ll tell you what the Ambassador is saying tonight it’s merd, it’s merd!

You mean that a Centauri who fought some Shadows, Whacked them too and called sent them to Padstow, Goes to be wed in terror and a dress, YES!

A diplomat who so calmly prattles, Even his cufflinks do not rattle, faces a woman, petrified with fright?, RIGHT!

You mean that the enormous clammering, That sounds like a blacksmith hammering, Is really the shaking of his uncovered knees, Oh please...

When you wonder what the ambassador is wishing tonight, He’s wishing he was on Centauri, fishing tonight. What’s occuping his mind while waiting for his bride? He’s searching high and low, for tapes of Rawhide!

And oh the expections, and the wild anticipation, He must feel about the wedding night to come... Well I’ll tell what the Ambassador, is thinking tonight: he’s nuts, he shakes, he quails, he plays Quake, And that’s what the Ambassador is doing... Tonight!

Okay - so I ran out of speed half-way through, so Sue me!

Glossary: Padstow - Place in Cornwall which I don't like - Grampound and Cambourne wouldn't fit in here. Quake - 20th Century Earth Computer Game where you go round killing things. Rawhide - A television series stuck in only because I couldn't think of anything else that rhymes here! Courts - Rock Cufflinks - Pointlessly given gift - I have lots of pairs - I wish that I didn't! Fishing - Outside activity where you attempt to capture fish useing a length of string and a fiberglass pole - don't particularly like this 'sport' Grampound - Small backwards place with small backwards people living in it! (Note - My friend who says this lives here - something is terribly wrong with this but I just CAN'T put my finger on it!) Cambourne - A mockery of a town. The subject of many: COMEDIAN: Excuse me - where are you from? AUDIENCE MEMBER: Cambourne COMEDIAN: I'm sorry. AUDIENCE MEMBER: I said Cambourne COMEDIAN: I heard you the first time, I'm just sorry. Hamsters - Don't talk to me about Hamsters, anyway they're not in this piece at all! Andrew Desperately searching for something to write about...

© Andrew Brack 1998